Hair Dyes
by Infinite Inficio
Summary: [Oneshot] Why did Sakura dye her hair blonde? How come Ino dyed her hair pink? Why is Neji traumatized? Where exactly did Shino's glasses go? And why doesn't Sasuke care? This is what obsessions with Sasuke can do to you... and the people around you.


Hey y'all, Naruto one-shot is in order! D No pairings, just some random fun. Read, and review if you'd like! (I'd like it if you did that, actuallyXD)

Pardon the spelling mistakes, it's late night, but sometimes you gotta write down ideas before they go away.

**Summary:** Why did Sakura dye her hair blonde? How come Ino dyed _her_ hair pink? Why is Neji traumatized? What happened to Kiba? Where exactly didShino's glasses go?And why doesn't Sasuke care? This is what obsessions with Sasuke can do to you... and the people around you.

* * *

'Sasuke-kun!'

'Sasuke-kun!'

'Leave him alone, forehead-girl, I saw him first!'

'No way, Ino-pig! You might've seen him first, but he saw _me_ first!'

'Tchah,' Sasuke commented, since he couldn't care less.

'He's mine!'

'Mine!'

'No, mine!'

'Definitely mine!'

……………………………..

_After a long while…_

'With me!'

'He'll never go out with you! Me, of course.'

'No way!'

'Wait… Where's Sasuke-kun?' Sakura noticed, and looked around.

'He walked off!'

'I'll find him first!'

'Nu-uh!' Ino denied.

'Yeah, I will!'

'No, you won't!'

……………………………….

'Sasuke! Sasuke-kun!' Sakura yelled. 'Did Ino find you yet?'

'Huh?'

'She didn't! Ha, I told her I knew you better than her!'

'…'

'Why won't you go out with me?'

'Well… I… uh, don't really like your hair.'

'What kind of hair do you like, then?'

'I like girls with… umm…'

Naruto walked past, not noticing the other members of his team. 'Ramen, ramen, la la la…' he sang, skipping to Ichiraku's.

'Blonde hair,' Sasuke said.

'And?' _Oh no, Ino is blonde! Does that mean he likes her more than me? Then a plan is in order!_

'What kind of blonde hair?'

'Uh… that sticks out everywhere…'

'Would you prefer girls with short hair or long hair?'

'Duh, long,' Sasuke answered, actually listening to the question.

'Anything else?'

'Well… and…'

At that exact moment, Shino went past them with a jar full of bugs.

'Dark sunglasses. Just like Shino's, preferably.'

Sakura panicked. She knew that Ino owned a huge collection of sunglasses. It _must_ mean Sasuke knows Ino more than he knows her!

'That's it?'

'Uh… yeah, I guess.'

'What's your favourite colour? Is it purple?'

'Sure,' Sasuke mumbled. Sakura narrowed her eyes as she remembered that Ino's clothes were _purple_.

'Do you know who Ino is?'

'Umm… a boar?'

……………………………….

_Fifteen minutes later-_

'Sasuke-kun!' Ino yelled. 'I bet I found you before Sakura!'

'…' Sasuke didn't reply.

'I knew I did!' Ino said proudly. 'Sakura could never beat me!'

Sakura sneezed. 'Hmm… I guess someone's talking about me… It must be Sasuke-kun!' Then she squealed.

'Hn,' Sasuke said distractedly.

'So… Sasuke, what kind of girl do you like?'

'Didn't you ask me this already? Uh, wait, what's your name again? Are you Fan Girl #23 or #19?'

'No! I'm Fan Girl #31, remember? Sakura's #23!' _Oh no! He remembers her number, not mine! So he _does_ know her more than me!_

'Yeah, well, it's usually Sakura asking me these questions.'

'So?'

'Umm… I like girls with…'

Chouji walked past them blowing a bubblegum. 'Hi, Ino! Hello, Sasuke!'

'…'

'Hi, Chouji!'

'…' Sasuke stayed quiet.

'Continue on, Sasuke-kun!'

'With… bubblegum…'

'Huh?'

'Bubblegum… hair.'

Little did Ino know that Sasuke was just spouting things in random, otherwise she wouldn't have worried. _Bubblegum hair! _Pink_ bubblegum hair! It must be Sakura!_

'Well, what kind of skills? You like kunoichi more than normal girls, don't you?'

'I guess so,' Sasuke answered truthfully.

'Skills?'

Sasuke looked at the Ninja Academy nearby. 'Academic and brain skills… And… uh… yeah.'

'What's your favourite colour?'

A lady taking a stroll was talking to her friend.

'Yeah, isn't the emerald just _darling_?'

'Emerald,' Sasuke said. Sakura's eye colour.

Now Ino's starting to _really_ panic.

……………………………….

The next day, Sakura went to her mum. Because there's no point in making up a name for just a one-shot, her name is Mrs. Haruno. Alternatively, "Mum".

'Mum, can I get my hair dyed?'

'If you pay for it yourself,' Mrs. Haruno replied.

'But I need to get it done by tomorrow!'

'No, Sakura.'

Sakura tried her luck with her father (named "Mr Haruno"/ "Dad").

'Guess what, Dad?'

'Hm?' Mr Haruno replied, not looking up from his newspaper.

'I came upon some of the most unfathomable items in your room. Now, I can't find a perfectly good reason of why you would have whips (!) and costumes in your rooms, so I guess I'll ask ALL the people I know and…'

'What do you need this time, Sakura?'

'I want to get my hair dyed blonde,' she admitted.

Mr Haruno looked up. 'Why? Anyone would _give_ to be a natural… umm… pink.'

'But more people would rather be a blonde!'

'And is that the reason why you want to dye your hair?'

'Uh… yeah…'

'Fine, go ahead and dye it…'

……………………………….

'Dad!'

'What is it, Ino?'

'I wanna dye my hair! PINK!'

'Uh…'

'Can I go to the hairdresser?'

'They don't have pink dyes at the hairdresser!' Inoshi ("Mr Yamanaka") said.

'But I want it pink!'

'What about natural dyes? Maybe your mother could apply them…'

'I don't care! As long as it's bubblegum pink!'

'Why, though?' Inoshi questioned, flabbergasted.

'Because Sasuke-kun likes it that way!'

'…' Inoshi knew it was impossible to argue with his daughter, so he didn't say anything.

'Just… do whatever you want, Ino…' he replied.

……………………………….

'Akh!'

'Aargh!'

'Who are you?'

'Who are _you_?'

'What have you done to your hair, Sakura?'

'I can say the same thing to you!'

'You look ridiculous!'

'Says the person who dyes her hair pink!'

'So? Sasuke likes pink hair better, and you just dyed over _yours_.'

'No way, he likes blonde- he told me so himself!'

'Yeah? So what are those sunglasses for? Fashion stealer!'

'Sasuke likes them. He said he likes girls with dark sunglasses, Shino style best.'

_Meanwhile…_

'Hey, where did my glasses go?' Shino remarked, scratching his head.

_Back to the girls…_

'Yeah, _right_!'

'Then why are you wearing emerald clothes, and eye contacts all of the sudden?'

'Because Sasuke actually _did_ talk to me, and I'm not bluffing like you, and it's his favourite colour.'

'Well, let's find where he is right now and ask him to tell us the truth!'

'Yeah!'

……………………………….

'What is it, Kiba-kun?' Hinata asked.

'I have a bad feeling… Like something terrible's gonna happen…'

'SASUKE-KUN!' Sakura and Ino yelled, stampeding towards Kiba.

'Akh!' he yelled out, and got trampled over. Akamaru got out of the way just in time.

'Woof!'

'Don't laugh at me, Akamaru!' Kiba told off.

'Umm…' Hinata decided it's better not to say anything.

……………………………….

Neji was in his favourite training spot. Only this time, Lee was watching him.

'Alright, Neji! Show your youthly power… of YOUTH!' Then he pointed at the nonexistent sunset.

Neji rolled his eyes. 'Whatever…'

Veins started appearing at the side of his eyes.

_BYAKUGAN!_

Then at that exact moment, the blonde Haruno with sunglasses & purple clothes and the pink, emerald-clad Yamanaka walked past.

'GYAHHH!' Neji screamed out of horror.

'OMG NO, Neji!' Lee yelled.

'Gahh… polka dots… purple stripes… g-strings (According to the Sasuke Fan Club, it was Sasuke's favourite kind of underwear)… I'm never using my eyes again!' Neji muttered half-unconsciously, rubbing his eyes continuously.

'Neji! You can make it! Snap out of it!' Lee panicked, and tried to encourage his comrade.

……………………………….

Naruto smiled happily. 'Ramen, ramen! I just bought my instant ramen! I feel HAPPY! '

As he walked down the road carrying his many instant ramen packs, Sakura and Ino headed towards him to cause more chaos.

BAM! They knocked his ramen down.

'NOOOO!' Naruto screamed with agony. 'It's not happening! Not to my dear ramen packs!'

He watched as the girls stepped on the packs, crushing them.

As he began to faint, memories strolled through his mind- his times at the academy, eating ramen, Iruka-sensei, ramen, Team Seven, ramen, ramen, and the most important of all… discounted ramen…

'Goodbye, cruel world,' Naruto mumbled, as his eyes slowly closed.

Wait, isn't that a bit melodramatic?

……………………………….

'Just stay there for a few more seconds…' Shino muttered, concentrating. 'That's it…'

The bee didn't look like it was going anywhere, and Shino was prepared to catch it.

'And…'

'SASUKE!' the two girls squealed as they saw Sasuke heading towards a restaurant, and in the excitement, Sakura dropped the sunglasses.

'My glasses!' Shino cheered, and put them on. Then he turned around.

'The bee? … #$! It's gone!'

……………………………….

'Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!'

'God, Sakura, since when do you wear emerald clothings?'

'I'm INO!'

'Your hair is pink.'

'You liked bubblegum hair!'

'No, you like blonde hair!' Sakura popped in.

'What?'

'Remember yesterday?'

'Uh… no.'

'You said you like blonde girls, the colour purple, and dark sunglasses!'

'No, you said you like bubblegum hair and the colour emerald!'

'But I like redheads and the colour lavender!'

Both Sakura and Ino lifted their eyebrows.

'I mean… Oh, never mind.'

The girls scribbled in their notebooks.

'Okay… not purple, _lavender_…' Sakura thought.

'Cross out emerald…' Ino thought.

'Why did you lie to us, Sasuke-kun?'

'Because… umm… I care about you?'

'OHMIGOD, that is so sweet!' the girls squealed.

'He totally said it to _me_,' Sakura said, narrowing her eyes.

'In your dreams,' Ino replied.

And as the argument ensues, Sasuke slipped out of their sight… again.

And he didn't even get to order anything!

……………………………….

_The day after that…_

'Hey,' Sakura said, stopping in her tracks.

'Hey yourself,' Ino replied.

'…' The girls glared at each other. And glared. And if they were to continue, both of them would die from exhaustion… from glaring, of course.

'…'

'SINCE WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A REDHEAD!'

* * *

I'm thinking of doing a second chapter, but I won't know what you want if you don't review!


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